Gloom


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DEPARTED to the judgment,  

A mighty afternoon;    

Great clouds like ushers leaning,       

Creation looking on.   

 

The flesh surrendered, cancelled,               

The bodiless begun;    

Two worlds, like audiences, disperse  

And leave the soul alone.

Emily Dickinson

April 9, ‘15

This past week has been filled with my own personal grief and sadness over my loss of Albert as well as abysmally grim weather.

The cold and gray has been more like Feb or March than April.

Adapting to life with Albert still present as Ghostcat has been painful although not without sweet moments or memories….  I’ve put his litter box and feeding tray out on the porch.  I’ve accustomed myself to the fact that as much as I consciously or unconsciously look around for him in his regular places, I won’t find him there, except in memory.

Cold, dreary, gray and sunless days have been as gloomy as grief.  The two combined are almost too heavy to bear.  Today is much the same as yesterday and the day before and tomorrow looks to be more of the same.   A break in the weather has been forecast for Saturday.

I talked to a friend yesterday who is going through her own rough patch.  We’ve both decided that sun, warmth and the passing of time will help lift the pall of gloom.  Emotional warmth and sunniness is up to each of us individually, which means processing our grief and constantly moving forward.

My spirits were momentarily lifted yesterday when I talked to a woman who’s promised me 2 tabby kittens next Saturday morning.  She said she’d send photos, but I’ve yet to see them.  So, I’m not putting all my hope or spending too much faith on the woman’s promise at this point in time.

The bit of hope and the momentary uplift in my spirits, however, felt wonderful.   I’m looking forward to – working for — more of the same.

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4 Responses to Gloom

  1. Oh, Sweetheart, I’m so sorry! It is devastating to lose a family pet…they truly are family. Your mood echos mine today. I was just thinking of writing a blog about it. I could pretty much just cut and paste yours. Gloomy weather, gloomy mood. Take care, Gretchen!

  2. Sue says:

    Sun, warmth, and the passing of time…..well, yes, and we each respond differently to grief. For me, my close friends have been invaluable…..but also, getting out and doing ‘me’ things, allowing myself to do this and also blogging ….. I wish you my best

  3. beetleypete says:

    I wondered if you would get another cat Gretchen, but I didn’t expect two! I hope that the person comes good with the promise of your new companions. I am sure that Albert would approve, and give you excellent references too.
    We have had real warmth here today, and a forecast for the hottest day (70F) tomorrow. I am sure that the same will arrive in New England soon, to lift your spirits.
    Best wishes as always, Pete.

    • When I first got Albert I’d intended getting another, so they’d have each other for playmates but I never found one & then he grew up. I’ve usually had 2 at a time for the past many years, Albert was the only singleton in my cat family and I enjoyed our one-on-one bond. When the woman told me there were 2 brothers and would I consider taking both, I told her I would. I think Albert would be delighted.

      Real warmth sounds wonderful. I can hardly wait. Perhaps by this weekend here in (at present) grim New England.

      Enjoy the warmth and thank you for your comment. GG

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