Jan 17, ’15

Thomas Merton Calligraphy

Fair Copy, Thomas Merton Poem, 2007

Patience is the one requirement of sustained creative survival: if the world has turned, it will also turn again. 

Julia Cameron

Jan 17, ‘15

To date, 3 checks have not arrived in the mail and I’m feeling close to a state of near panic.  I haven’t much of a clue as to what is happening, right now.  Or why….  Nor have I been able to contact the person who owes me this money — though not for lack of trying, these past few weeks.

It’s as if this person has vanished into thin air.  Or, perhaps, even more bizarre a feeling, never existed….

This money I need to run my life as I have been through almost 20 years of working for this person.

I’m behind in my rent and my utility bills.

I feel dazed, shocked and numb — mortally wounded….  As a person feels when sudden death has occurred to someone close in one’s life….

This all is hard to Accept.

I feel lost and in the shadow of Death.

In the Here and Now, this is where I am.

My hope:  “If the world has turned, it will turn again.”

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3 Responses to Jan 17, ’15

  1. beetleypete says:

    I was very concerned to read this Gretchen. How can someone you have worked for so long treat you in this fashion? I have no answers of course, but I will be thinking of you, and hope that it is all resolved soon.
    Very best wishes, Pete.

  2. candidkay says:

    I hope, Gretchen, that you find this all a misunderstanding–or you discover the circumstances around it. Breathe. Because you’re right–God makes it right. And He will. I know that’s easy for me to say, but keep the faith.

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