Feb 11, ‘14
Greetings from my state of Torpor.
We’ve had much severe cold in the past few days or weeks – I’ve somewhat lost track, this severe cold seems endless, seems to stretch endlessly behind, looks to be stretching endlessly forward….
We’ve also had much snow with another big storm predicted for this coming Thursday.
My heart is sunk low but is warm. My body is aching much less from heavy shoveling since the last snow storm we had — last week. This is good, it appears that soon there will be more shoveling to be done….
I’m maintaining and though at minimal standards, am grateful for that much. I cook, I eat, I clean, I bathe and do laundry, tidy-up, change kitty litter… I watch Foreign movies on Netflix, one after another. I brave the elements to go to work, shovel snow. I’ve been sleeping like a bear….
My work in the studio has to do with over-working studies that have long been overworked. It seems a good place to spend dull energy. It’s about staying with the process, staying sane, keeping in mental shape. Showing up is 80% of the process….
I long to finish the floorcloths I began last summer. It’s been too cold to work on them the way I’d like so I’m concentrating on working out a process to do the border flowers on the largest one. Yesterday afternoon was relatively warm from the sun and a temp in the low 20’s so I had a goodly amount of time to test out a stencil I’d cut and begin thinking about how I want to build these flowers on the surface of the actual floor cloth by testing the design out on a dark blue file folder. It felt good to think about something other than Torpor survival….
Sometimes I’m actually happy about what I’m doing and other times I’m sunk low into despair and self-pity. I think the highs and lows have to do with the onset of Torpor and resulting Cabin Fever. Days with sun are the best.
A 15 minute walk around outside in sunlight helps enormously. So does hot cocoa. I think it’s the healing benefits of the cocoa.
I know I’m not alone — we’re not alone! My heart goes out to all those who are suffering, struggling from Cabin Fever and Torpor. Hang in and imagine how great we’re all going to feel when Spring is finally here. The sun is riding higher, the days are longer. Spring is getting closer every day!