June 14, ‘13
Since this past December I’ve been the most unhappy I’ve been in many years. This has to do with having received an Order to Vacate from the home where I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in many years to a new apartment where my unhappiness increased due to the very unpleasant upstairs neighbors & my seeming inability to deal with our mutual tenancy in a reasonable manner.
My fight/flight response has been strong and most uncomfortable. It’s been most difficult to obtain a sense of mental balance.
I’ve looked for and at other apartments but have found nothing yet that tells me that I’m home. Nothing that makes me want to pack up and begin the arduous process of moving from where I am Now.
At Easter-time the unpleasant neighbor and her brood of unpleasant and cranky, noisy children were away for a few days. There was no one home upstairs except the one tenant who’s supposed to be living there – the mother to the unpleasant tenant, grandmother to the brood of children. Life was sweet those 3 days; for the first time in months I re-lived the experience of quiet enjoyment that I’d taken for granted in the home I had to vacate due to the dictates of Big Bank. I realized that without the nasty actions of the one tenant and her kids, I could be reasonable happy where I am.
Easter was months ago and there’s been much drama and stress since. At times I feel as desperate and angry as a cornered rat. There have also been times when I think of the sweetness of revenge and the hell with the consequences.
I had a moment of disgust with myself one day when I realized that I’d rather park on the street than risk leaving my car in the driveway where it was tampered with constantly as well take the risk of any confrontation required to speak to my neighbor. I had another moment of sorrow, then anger when a long-time and beloved plant was deliberately tampered with not once but twice – and nearly destroyed — on my back porch.
I talked to my landlord last night about some of my unpleasant experience with this particular tenant and how I’m upset to be parking on the street when off-street parking was one of the reasons I selected this present apartment. He gave me a suggestion as to where to begin parking my car on the property, off the street and where I can keep an eye on it.
This morning, as the result of advice from a friend who’s also a lawyer, I stopped into the Police Department and had a friendly chat with a friendly officer about my difficulties. I told him that I wanted to go on record as having this difficulty with my neighbor and that I want to know what to do when/if more incidences occur. I explained how I feared the police would think I was crazy if I called them every time there was an unsettling incident but as of today, each incidence is piling up into a huge heap and I’ve had to admit to myself and others that all this is really happening. He was very reassuring and said that what I was reporting to him wasn’t at all uncommon and that the Police would be happy to mediate if I ever feel I need to call them about anything untoward that’s going on here.
After talking to my landlord last night and the Police this morning, I’m feeling a great deal more empowered than I’ve felt since I moved into this house.
I bought 2 bags of soil before I came home, pulled up to my back porch from the 2nd driveway that runs between my house and the house next door, parked, unloaded and then planted my tomatoes in the same 5 gal buckets I used for tomatoes last year as well as some Basil I bought when I bought the soil.
It felt good to be gardening again.
I’m praying Ms Unpleasant doesn’t toss her recycling — or any other crap– into my tomato plants or onto my car. I’m praying the obnoxious children don’t decide to taunt me by riding their bikes through my yard. But, if crap from upstairs rains onto my car or plants or the obnoxious children decide to run riot through my yard, I know who to call.
Right now, Tough Love feels akin to Vengeance/Retaliation and the consequences that much sweeter.