No words…no tears…only prayers…

dec 14 001 sketch

Dec. 14, ’12

A few days ago, I was sweating out paying my rent on time, waiting for a check in the mail, that didn’t seem to come. I was concerned as to how I’d make it through the next few weeks on the contents of my change-jar. The color of the pile of change in the pile of change I’d dumped onto the table was mostly copper.

I borrowed enough money from a friend to cover my rent check, then emailed my landlord, with much appreciation for his waiting, telling him that my rent check was now good.

I’ve been going through my days, going where I need to go, doing as best I can, doing what I need to do, trying in my mind to maintain equanimity in the face of a growing sense of fear and heaviness. I went to work on Wed and as the day progressed, I started to feel much better. My confidence was regained that the money due me would indeed, be arriving in the mail. I was glad that my landlord could cash my check without hassle.

When I got home on Wednesday, I discovered a Legal Notice taped to my door, telling me that a bank now owns the building where I live and that my landlord was no longer the owner of this house.

This peaceful house is in a state of sadness and confusion. As things stand today, we have until the end of January to vacate.

We are 4 tenants in this house; the overall gallows humor is “How does it feel to be homeless?”

To mitigate my sense of confusion and despair, I called my bank and put a Stop Payment on my rent check. Then I turned up the heat. Then I went out for gas and groceries, sparing very little expense.

I tell myself that while this is a hardship, I’m fortunate. It isn’t worse.

As I write, I’m listening to a news story about an elementary school in my state where many children and adults have been killed by a lone shooter.

My heart has squeezed down to the size of a walnut. I have no words to describe my Sorrow and shock. I have no tears. Only prayers.

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2 Responses to No words…no tears…only prayers…

  1. Prayers for those families and prayers for you too.

  2. Thankyou, and for you as well.

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