Monday Morning Blues, Aug 20, ‘12


 

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This painting is from 1988-91—not sure of the date.  It depicts a portion of an ancient cemetery in my home town.  The job of heightening and lowering value has been accomplished.  This painting now has ‘bones.’  It now needs more color.

Summer, alas, is on the wane.  I realized that a few evenings ago when the air turned cool and had a slight scent of autumn.  I realized it even further this morning when I had to put on a flannel shirt over my summer clothing and warm slippers instead of flip-flops to make it through the morning without being chilled.

I could be out working in Little Pink – it’s not that cold– but instead, I’m working this morning in my dining room, aka, Winter Studio. 

I’ve spent all of Spring and most of Summer, working on 25 paintings I found in mid-April, hidden away in garbage bags in my sister’s barn.  Since then, most all of the ‘Big Stuff’ has been accomplished.  The ‘Big Stuff’ is work I could do with big brushes.  The paintings, for the most part, have all been resurfaced and redefined.  Overall, I feel that my re-modeling project has been going fairly well.

Bringing the work inside has had a calming effect on me.   Dealing with the stacks of paintings in the garage was starting to make me feel restless and irritable.  I felt the paintings needed to be arrayed in a more orderly fashion, where I can see them and become Aware of what they need to satisfy my sense of saying what I felt I wanted them to say when I started them and what I feel now I want them to say.

Quite often, like this autumnal Monday morning, I feel a sense of discouragement despite the new sense of calm, hear myself saying ‘why bother’ or ‘who cares?’.  The only thing that keeps me from scrapping this project is thinking about how awful I’d feel if I put all these paintings in the trash – or burned them.  As far as the amount of time and material I’ve spent on this series, I’m past the point of no return. 

The show must go on…. 

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